I no longer have the strength to do this
In high school you dream about going far away to college maybe get away from that old town drama and get far away from people who know things about you. I know I wanted to start fresh at a new town heck I even decided to go for another state. College isn’t at all what you dreamed it would be all the freedom and do what ever you want it isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. I would rather be in my bed in my room, in my house, in my town and even just to be in my state. I use to say how much I hated Milford I never really appreciated what I had until it was all gone I miss my family, my friends, my neighborhood. I just miss the sounds, the smells the tastes of home. I have never felt this lonely and sad before in my life I would trade this feeling to go back to high school in a minute yeah me the girl who hated high school would do anything to get back there. Just walking around campus isn’t the same as walking around my neighborhood seeing all the people I know not saying I like them all but even the neighbors I don’t like I would do anything to see them. You might think oh she’s pathetic you can’t judge me until you move at least 3 hours away without any of our friends and family. Leaving somewhere where you dont know if you can trust anyone is hard. I never should I thought that I could do this I have always been a dreamer never a realist now I know that leaving far isn’t good for me I like to feel safe and comfortable not feel invisible at every moment being somewhere where no one can give two shits about you really and truly hurts. No one understands why I feel this way or they find it pathetic none of them have gone through this none of them can feel the pain I feel inside to know I just can’t jump in a car at anytime to drive home it’s 3 hour drive and gas is so expensive so yeah I’m stuck in this place I call hell for awhile. Being here makes me not even feel like me I’m like a numb robot I don’t smile I don’t laugh all I do is cry I hate this so much can’t wait for may
This song was made for me.
